Trying to find myself again.

Menuju end-of-May.

Hopefully, I’ll get the job offer that I’ve been waiting for in the nearest time possible.

That’s my biggest wish right now.
Doa yang aku selalu titipkan sejak akhir-akhir ini usai tiap solat aku.

To escape from the banking industry.

Looking at it now, I wonder why most people say working in a bank is their dream job. Mungkin sebab bonus ?  Dulu mungkin aku salah seorang daripada mereka. Tapi selepas 3 tahun++, apa yang aku boleh conclude is… this kind of job doesn’t suit me for the long run anymore. It’s no longer worth sacrificing my mental health for it.

I don’t know what other job roles are like. But for me, from an IT Application Backend Support point of view  the role itself is actually okay. But you really have to be mentally strong, especially when you’re supporting the card system.

And with that, aku rasa aku tak cukup kuat untuk teruskan perjalanan mencari rezeki di sini.

I would not say it’s a nightmare.
Because how could I survive for 3 years++ if it was one?This experience is still a lesson learned. Banyak mengajar aku benda baru.

Orang mungkin nampak macam “wow, kerja bank.” But they never really know what you have to deal with every single day.

This is still a journey that I’ll always appreciate, walaupun tak semuanya indah.

The thing I appreciate the most  and the thing I’ll miss the most is the teamwork. Yang ini paling sayang.

My team was always there whenever I needed them. They were always just one call away, tak kira tengah malam, weekend, ataupun public holiday sentiasa ada. Tak permah berkira. 

Once a dream

Antara doa yang dalam diam Allah kabulkan.

Pernah terdetik nak kerja at this bank just because i think it is a big bank , kalau pergi mana2 kedai mostly guna this bank terminal. Somehow, it is just a dream.

But the way Allah kabulkan apa yang terlintas yg dulu aku impikan , it amaze me.

Jalan nya tak smooth but it still get me to the job yg aku pernah dream of.

Took a career break , jobless for a few months until im ready to ge back to work baru start apply. Failed interview with Aeon, then saw this job ad which suit me perfectly. Applied and get an interview and accepted. The onboard journey is smooth like Allah clearly planned it out for me .Someone resigned and I took over his job. The timing is amazing.

3 years ++ passed and i learn a lot. I'm doing good , never once failed to get bonus and increment. Get promoted. Thankful enough.

Along the way, the environment becomes more toxic. It's not the team but the bosses. Even my team lead . And i totally hate it when i have to work with this kind of environment. It doesn't excites me anymore. Somehow rasa macam kena treat like a robot. He want now, you must deliver now, lantak kau busy dengan benda lain ke apa .

But looking at it, I don't think I want to spend my entire life doing this job. Or perhaps working at banks doesn't suit me.It keeps me under pressure most of the time. And I hate it, because I fail to focus when there's so many things come at me and it broke me. To be on standby on some weekends/ public holidays is annoying. I was supposed to rest but who would know there will be some issues coming up. Plus it's critical system. You can't afford any downtime. And I hate surprise. Even I can still ask for my teammate's help but still i hate this kind of work. Able to stay here for 3 years plus is a blessing.

Now I think I've had enough. I need to plan for a better future. Less hectic job demi mental health. Mungkin patut cuba another industry , because all this while masih stuck with bank . Maybe it's not the job role that traumatised me, its the industry and the system. Our team is taking care of card system , imagine if there's issue with the system ? It directs impact to customer. Terminal cannot accept payment, cardholder unable to perform txn etc. That's why we cannot afford any mistakes , since the consequences would be huge. Even the bank apps itself , example you want to check your recent txn . The other system will come to our system to get the info and any slow response even its 2 seconds will be flag out. Imagine that .

To another role - another bank OR To another industry - same role (at least tak chaotic macam bank )

Moga Allah mudahkan transisi yang ini.