Thursday, December 14, 2017


Things were so much different now compared to my studies year.
People change by time I guess.

You didn't manage to get straight A's in any one of your exam besar?
You will get lectures the whole day.
You will be compared to the other children which have the same age as you.
You didn't get to hear your parents say 'it's ok you did try your best'.
They will questioning you like 'they can do it why don't you?'
They will keep blaming you.' Why don't you  study hard before'

And the list goes on.

But in today world, things are changing.
They react oppositely.

You get bad result?
No, you don't have any right to blame her.
They will say ' don't say harsh things. it will keep demotivating her'

How funny is that huh?

I'm living in that 'put all the blame on me' year. And today,when I just try to ask about the result,..they put the blame on me even for asking?. How pathetic.

How bias is that?

Its ok if you want to do it that way.
Lets do it that way and see what she will be growing up.

I will sit here doing nothing and just keep watching💁

Monday, August 21, 2017

" Grow through what you go through "

Having failed about two or three interview for my scholarship years ago make me hate going for any interview.

But you can't really run away from it as it is a must-thing you have to do if you don't wanna hold that jobless title anymore.

" Grow through what you go through "

As much as I learned how interview has disappoint me with the result. I also learn there is always a room for improvement.I rather think that I should blame myself for all the disappointment I have go through.

For not giving much efforf.
For not being a confident-shaz.
For that take-thing-easy characteristic in mine.

From all the failure you have gone through
You always have something to learn.
Just don't give up.
Make up for it.
And be a better version of you.

And from that
I learn to not giving too much hope to myself.
So that I will not be so upset knowing that I fail.

If it was written for you, then it will always be yours.

And for all the upset story I got from all the interview I have go through before.
I thank Allah for that.
As now I'm already success getting a job related to my course after only my first interview.

To the another phase of life.
To the different working life.
To the real programming life.

You're really a grown up girl shaz 😇

Sunday, June 18, 2017

emotional post I guess

I always have this big dream I wish I can do to my family

to be a daughter who can ease the burden of my parent
to tell my dad 'you don't have to work anymore, just rest and do whatever you enjoy doing..I can take care of them '
to simply make them happy in any ways I could do

it just..I don't hit me sometimes

they are getting older
but still at this age I can't contribute much

that feeling.

thinking about how much that our parents have done for us
how much things they have give up just to give the best to us

mixed feeling.